
QUOTE: “Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door.” Saul Bellow
Rohit and Jyoti loved each other dearly. But of course they had to, following the fuss that was made by them to get married in the first place. Jyoti was one of seven daughters who were all seen as a great responsibility on the heads of their parents, in particular for their father. It was down to him to not only provide for such a large family but also ensure they all married into good homes by the time they reached their early teens. Each daughter carried the weight of a considerable amount of money needed in terms of the dowry ‘down payment’ that was provided to her new family. This is how the ‘Indian’ system was accepted to be and there was no getting around this societal doctrine. Understandably Jyoti’s father felt under great pressure to provide so much and it was seen as a curse life had granted on him which not only meant that his name was not to be automatically passed another generation by the son he had always so longed for but also that he would be seen as someone upon whom society showed pity for his misfortune. This was one of the reasons they had conceived for a child over and over but every time to be blessed with the curse of a daughter was a fate upon which they had no control.
Jyoti’s parents married young during a time where marriage was a responsibility put upon two adolescents to encourage independence and also with the added advantage to contribute to a household’s income. Every child was conditioned throughout their childhood to accept this fate and for many households, every detail of the child’s’ life was mapped out and planned well in advance, almost as if the whole existence of the individual was a secondary status. Often a holy priest would be present when a new child was born into a family, and he would be expected to conduct religious formalities of which no one but the priest himself would be aware whether they were even in sync with how the scholars of the past had intended. It would seem they had just been moulded into incumbent rituals holding no actual substance to anyone but those getting rewarded as a result- namely the brotherhood of the priests who were always remunerated quite handsomely! Not too dissimilar to chickens egg’s hatching in a poultry breeding farm- and add to the analogy a chicken poultry farm which also required halal or kosher chicken meat- everyone but the chicken itself fully aware of the path ahead- both fortunes and misfortunes pre-empted by the union of farmers (for the chickens), priests and the parents for the non- feathered human offspring. Fascinating things are rituals- described as overwhelmingly intensifying feelings conducted through joint symbolic actions- and then organically spread through time and space like wildfire of words and mouth. Regardless of whether an individual’s thought processes were allowed to question their significance- the over-consuming obligation always fuelled their power and the empty sentiments rigidly ingrained the psyche of everyone in its path.
Jyoti’s childhood was cut short as a result of what was planned for her future- most childhoods were of this era. From an early age she was being groomed and conditioned by her mother- she herself who had been conditioned by her own father first and then her own husband who dutifully continued his own pre conditionings. Jyoti’s father had naturally been infected with this inherent plague of responsibility- not to say that he didn’t love his daughter or other daughters even- he adored each and every one of them in their own right, it was just his way of conveying the natural love and instincts he felt with what was labelled by society as him being burdened.
Fear would linger in Jyoti as she reached aged 8, 9, 10 onwards. Knowing that soon she will be forced to leave her home, her family and friends, and she will be sent away to start a new chapter with a stranger boy and his family. She started looking out for the signals from her parents, she even made sure she always obeyed her parents and was the best daughter she could be in their eyes, believing that if she was successful in this they would take pity and delay sending her away. Maybe this had worked on some level, because unlike many of her cousins and other girls in the village who married as young as 11 and 12 years old, Jyoti was 16 when she married. And her marriage was unlike anyone else’s marriage she had known in her life.
Rohit was 17 years old. A dashing and handsome 17 year old who had reaped the benefits of a first-rate gene pool. They belonged to a caste of Hindus who were classed in the highest ranking, and of worthy positioning in terms of background and influence. Rohit’s parents had worked hard to raise their children- 5 boys and one girl of which Rohit was the youngest boy. His parents had been labourers, but they earned enough to ensure each of their children was well educated. The eldest child, and Rohit’s eldest brother had educated far more than expected and was training to be a lawyer. He travelled to a town, a considerable distance to where they lived in the village of Lakhimpur, a small part of Northern India. Rohits brother committed to travelling away from home in order to complete his higher education and law training, and would send money to his parents which ensured all siblings had the best of everything and were fully comfortable. Being the youngest, Rohit was given more freedom as a result and enjoyed his teens relaxing with friends, visiting the cinemas regularly to keep in touch with the latest Bollywood film releases, and emulating a lot of what he would see on the big screens- or ‘picture halls’ as they were referred. For most traditional families such as Rohit’s- Cinema was not seen as much of a positive recreational activity- more a waste of peoples time during which they should be indulging in study or work, or the raising of a family; but for Rohit who felt young and uninhibited, he would have to sneak from school to secretly indulge in a past time he was gaining a real passion for the more he had a chance to do so. For a young man living the daily mundane village life, the cinema became a fascinating escape where he would learn about the wider world. Where he would become engrossed in melodramatic storylines of love, family, betrayals, society, villains, heroes, and of course with the heroes- the heroines! His teenage hormones would be soothed by the presence of beautiful, sensuous, busty women on the big screens. Larger than life they were, and he would imagine himself to be the hero to these aesthetically pleasing goddesses. His friends would all learn and recite the dialogues they had heard from the last film they had seen- they would keep tabs on local posters and news of the latest releases. They would hum the infectious songs from the musicals that they would also hear on their travels on radios, tape players and other idle folk also humming in the back streets. They would style their clothes in similar fashions to the hero. They would style their hair in similar fashions too. In fact the more Rohit amended his dress sense, and hairstyles and even his mannerisms, he would be told by his friends that he had an uncanny resemblance to one of the leading icons of Bollywood of the time- Rajesh Khanna. Maybe best described as the Marlon Brando, or James Dean of Indian cinema. Men wanted to be him, women secretly wanted to be with him. Not that many single women even stepped foot in the cinemas- it was mostly the married women who fantasized about their hairy, pot bellied husbands being as clean cut and romantic as Rajesh from one of his blockbuster films. The single females were too busy still being conditioned and trained in their homes or at school.
Rohit was adamant he would fall in love with a local girl, just like in one of Rajesh Khanna’s famous films where he would be the Romeo to yet another Juliet, there would be similar fateful obstacles the hero would have to face in the quest to win his love, just as with Romeo and Juliet’s tale- the number of villains and antagonists, the lack of money, family pressures, but there was always a happy ending to conclude the dramatic storylines. And it was this happy ending that made any previous hardships worthwhile in the plot, with the odd song and dance number to add to the dramas unfolding. Powerful subliminal expectations were instilled into all who got caught into the melodramas unfolding on the big screens. For those without the guidance of realism or experience and without detailed conversations with elder family members about the actual realistic expectations from life, what was being conveyed through the stories on film were educational for impressionable minds such as Rohit and his pre-pubescent friends. Rohit believed that he was destined to find love in his local village- he believed that he would face similar challenges and pressures around him from winning his love, but he was adamant that like the heroes on screen, he would also get his happy ending. He became almost obsessed towards finding the destined love who he felt was waiting for him to rescue from the shackles of her own existence- he longed to be the Knight to his Goddess, the hero to his very own real life busty heroine. The good guy amongst the villains.
Rohit first set eyes on Jyoti whilst relaxing with friends in the local village park, on a hot sunny evening. Groups of barefooted dark skin Indian boys were playing Cricket with home made bats made from wood, and hard strings wrapped around thousands of times in the shape of a ball. Branches from the trees were used as wickets. The village kids, although were probably classed as considerably well off in comparison to some nearby villages and regions of North India, they were still resourceful when it came to the sporting activities they indulged in and the equipment they utilized. ‘Gulli danda’ was another popular local sport, which although had not gained the same exposure as Cricket had done, was just as fun to play. It involved the simple rules of hitting a spherical shaped carved piece of wood as far as possible across the park, armed with nothing but a thinly carved wooden log. A combination of skill and power proved hours of entertainment for the kids, and the precision of being able to lob a piece of wood as far as possible without causing damage to local windows or passing folk. But on this occasion, this was not meant to go as planned.
The small piece of carved wood had already been hit by a small group of young boys and was nowhere to be found. And so they turned to using small stones and pebbles as an alternative option that still worked in the same way. Hit the stone with the stick whilst on the floor in order to gain flight, and then “WHACK!” watch the pebble fly as far as possible into the near distance. The sounds of shouting voices and laughter also filled the air, as did the stench of testosterone with so many adolescent boys in the vicinity. Women walked past, mostly elderly grandmothers, and mothers who lived nearby. The odd adolescent daughter dragged by the hands to and fro from their after school tuition classes, or from dinner with family members. On this particular day, and at this particular moment, Jyoti wasn’t one of these girls accompanied by her family this evening. She had been asked to run an errand by her uncle to find out if his medical prescription had arrived at the local chemists, and strictly instructed to go straight to the chemist and straight back home in a hurry as she would do, always obeying the instructions of her elders like a good Indian girl. Jyoti walked the same route as she would always through the community park, which was always lively with local kids and adults alike, all enjoying the picturesque setting, the relaxed and laidback atmosphere of the village kept in tact, and of course, some small groups playing Cricket, and some ‘Gulli Danda’. Head down, and mostly ignoring her immediate surroundings, Jyoti was in deep thought timing herself to how quickly she could make her trip, and how much praise she could possibly reap from her family by doing so. The glistening silver bells of her ankle bracelets ching chinging as she paced, rhythmically swaying to the syncopated beat of her footsteps. Jyoti would often lose herself in her own thoughts, every experience becoming an innocent, uncomplicated adventure, not abnormal for a young girl of her age in any way whatsoever; a young spirited child at heart like she was. To those around her, she was growing into quite an attractive young woman. She was beautiful, and her innocence and lack of self-awareness enhanced the beauty she exuded externally. She had long, silky black hair. A fair complexion, and a petite yet shapely frame, adorned with bright clothing and delicate jewellery. She also looked as if she could quite easily be swayed away by the blow of a careless breeze, she must have weighed only a mere 25 – 30 KG, if that. She was the smallest amongst her siblings even and her family would often feel overly protective of her, despite her being the eldest amongst all the healthier looking sisters. This was something Jyoti did have quite an awareness of, and was something she longed not to ever lose through being forced to get married and moving away into a strangers family life where maybe they wouldn’t be as protective of her as her own were.
Lost in her thoughts and like an Indian Alice in her own Wonderland she drifted gaining momentum towards the goal of the moment- the prompt pick up of her uncles prescription. She wondered what food was being cooked at home for dinner later, she felt her stomach rumbling and going against the rhythm of her steps. She hurried along, still oblivious of her surroundings. The sound of evening traffic could be heard faintly from the distance towards where she was heading, nearing the parade of shops and amongst the hustle bustle flurry of people preparing for their evening commotions. And just as she felt she was reaching her destination- “WHACK!”
A sharp pain and then complete silence. Fixated on her own trail towards the shops, she had unknowingly also entered into the alternative path of an inanimate object that was to shape her whole entire future. Like a smoothly aero dynamic arrow of cupid- except made of natural stone and capable of reaching high speeds and breadths of distance if propelled hard enough. If it hadn’t hit Jyoti right in the side of her head, it could have reached a further 10 metres or so and would have been followed by rapturous applause by the group of boys who were responsible for the hit. But instead of applause- there were sudden hesitant groans, hands clutched on heads, and then an immediate instinct to scarper from the vicinity in order not to attract attention. The equivalent of a ‘hit and run’ and embracing the human minds involuntary reaction of ‘fight or flight’ in the moment of panic and sudden unexpected confusion. Boys started running in different directions as the sight of a young girl lying in a pool of dripping blood and the noise of adults surrounding the girl built up, the whole calm and relaxed atmosphere of the park had suddenly been eliminated and replaced with anxious feelings all around. Thought bubbles whizzed through the minds of all who had gathered around the young injured girl. Birds hovered in the sky, unleashing their feathers in their own panic-stricken movements, having picked up on the hubbub below- and as if asking themselves the same questions- “Is the girl okay? Is she conscious? Is she even alive? Why is she here alone? What should we do...?”
Rohit and his friends were also part of the gathering spectators. They gazed at the young girl and the few of the responsive adults who appeared to be acting in natural states of calm- most likely because they were parents themselves and were used to dealing with injuries and youthful mishaps. Rohit however, froze in the moment- not just as a result of the hullabaloo, like the adults he too felt naturally calm and ready to intervene if need be to the situation itself. But this was more to do with the feelings of worry mixed with a subconscious connection he felt with this stranger; this beautiful stranger who he was finding himself drawn towards. He had a sense of responsibility towards helping others by his nature, but this felt new. This felt different to how he had ever felt before. This felt like it was meant to happen exactly how it was intended by an invisible force; his heart told him he was meant to be standing in that exact spot, in that exact moment because by doing so he was acting true to his own personal path, and this young girl was the catalyst that was about to shape both of their existence.
Later that evening Rohit stood outside the hospital where the young girl had been rushed just hours ago after being hit on the head with a considerably heavy pebble- the kind of pebble that just shouldn’t have been the ammunition from an innocent game of “Gulli Danda” but if it hadn’t, Rohit wouldn’t have just encountered the girl of his dreams. He smiled as he recalled the old man beating the kid who had propelled the pebble with the very stick he had used to play with. A stick he had ironically carved himself, not knowing it was to be used to beat him with on this day! As the girl was being rushed to hospital, the young boy was left being attacked by his own stick to teach him a lesson.
Jyoti wasn’t too hurt, surprisingly. She was most likely saved by the thick hair clip she had fixed in her hair that must have absorbed most of the momentum of the blow. This was apparent by the dent it had left- it was her favourite clip and rather than thanking it’s sacrifice in the line of duty, she longed for it to be replaced so she could feel the same sense of pride whilst wearing it. Her parents and entire family had all arrived at the hospital after hearing of the accident. Her uncle hovered in the background as he felt most of the guilt for sending her to the chemists for his prescription, which he didn’t even receive in the end. If only he had sent someone else, he thought. If only he himself had gone then Jyoti would still be okay. Part of him was also secretly thankful that he wasn’t the one who had been hit on the head with a pebble, which could have happened if he had set foot on the same path and at the exact same time. He knew that his own baldhead would not have survived the impact of a small yet heavy pebble colliding with it, and even if it had, the fall to the ground would have done damage to his already fragile limbs. He was thankful that all was well, but still felt the need to refrain from any attention from the rest of the family in terms of blame.
Jyoti was released from the hospital that very evening, with a bandaged head and a bruised hair clip in hand. As the family escorted her back home where she would be safe from any low flying pebbles, she noticed the somnolent young guy, staring at her as she sat in the backseat of the waiting taxi. She couldn’t help but feel that same connection which Rohit had himself felt earlier- and as the car drove away from the hospital, fate had unknowingly left her heart behind with the boy who would later become the love of her life.
Written by Vin Sharma (All rights reserved to Vin Sharma 2010- excluding images)